Counselors? Marriage Partners Often Object
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Counselors? Marriage partners often are taken aback when the subject is broached, but many married couples reach a point when they feel they are at an impasse on certain issues.
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After trying to overcome a serious problem or crisis on their own, they realize getting counseling for marriage problems they are experiencing could be a better approach. While couple counseling won’t help every marriage, it does help many couples every day.
How do you know if you and your spouse should pursue counseling? Marriage partners often have the attitude or opinion that they don’t want to air their dirty laundry in front of a total stranger. And, another frequent obstacle when considering counselors, marriage partners think it is too expensive. These two frequent concerns are covered in this article, as well as some things to consider if you are trying to decide to seek professional help.
The “I don’t want to talk to a stranger about our problems” objection is common. Realize, however, one of the reasons marital counseling can be so helpful is because the therapist, as a stranger, is in a neutral and objective position.
You may have found that family and friends are too close to the situation to be helpful. They may also have an emotional bias which makes it difficult to stay objective regarding your situation. Any advice they may try to offer can suffer as a result. Keep in mind that in some cases, talking to family members or close friends can actually make the situation even worse.
This is one of the primary reasons outside counselors, marriage experts say, can be very helpful. Once you start developing a rapport and trust with the marriage therapist, you may appreciate how safe it actually feels to discuss your problems with someone who isn’t going to take sides.
Then there’s the “counseling is too expensive” objection. Therapy isn’t free, and you’re paying a trained professional for a valuable service. Also consider how much more expensive getting a divorce will be — and in most cases, it will be. For the cost of a divorce, not to mention all the pain and grief that often accompany it, couples counseling is usually much less expensive. In fact, often by thousands of dollars. Also consider that many people who have been through a divorce say it is the worst experience of their life.
Many cities have clinics offering counselors, marriage style, for a reduced fee, either based on income qualifications, or because the therapists are graduate students under supervision. You don’t necessarily have to go weekly. You may be able to go biweekly, making marriage counseling more affordable.
Both of these objections are very common. If your marriage has reached a crisis point, hopefully you will carefully weigh the what may happen if you do not get some help. Make the right move and contact a marriage counselor today.